Please see my new blog: And Nico Makes Four

Well, obviously my daughter had definite ideas about Scorpios. I don't mind, supposedly Sagittariuses are easy-going, friendly, action-orientated folks. I have no recollection of ever knowing one so perhaps these people also don't give too much credit to horoscopes, unlike all the Libras I know. Anyway, as you can tell from this photo, Ingrid has not yet made her way into the world (or perhaps I am fooling you and she is tucked away in a baby bjorn under my dress). Soon, though, very soon. I go in for a non-stress test today just to confirm that she is alright baking away in her womb. Hope all is well with everyone. Take care.

Things are progressing though I am still not holding Ingrid yet. I thought I would share songs that make this hormonal pregnant woman tear up (actually they have that effect even when I am not pregnant; I guess my hippie roots are showing). They aren't new but sometimes I think we need to listen to them anyway.



This last clip is a little odd, what with the quick zoom of the tourist cheese smile, but in a way the man doing prostrations is rather what I feel like over these past few weeks. Letting go of the attachment of calendar times, respecting my body, my child, bowing down to the natural order of things. Okay, hope everyone is well. Take care.

We've been watching a lot of Invader Zim recently, hence today's photo. We've also been playing Uno, walking, eating sushi and crispy tofu, looking at Jason's friends waiting for a Wii in Wal-Mart, walking, drinking hot cocoa, being warned about rising crime in Riverside, discussing the dangers of Riverside, considering the possibility of a dog, listening to the sound of rat teeth knawing on the thin replacement panel of wood behind the stove, considering the possibility of a cat, and having contractions. What, wait, what was that last thing? Yes, it seems that sometime, eventually, Ingrid will enter this world. These things take time though (as if I haven't proven that by going 10 past my due date) and it is possible that tomorrow I will still be posting about random tidings, for instance this article is one of those things that I will probably talk about for days (like I did with the issue of mothers waxing their toddler daughters' eyebrows...). Or like I talk about The Office because man, did you watch the last one? I mean, Pam and Jim are meant for each other but then comes Karen and I actually like her. Yeah, you see this is what happens when I can't find the library books I wanted. But I did get the new issue of dwell which makes me happy. And Jason got himself a new present, though I won't discuss the details here, you know, for security purposes. Anyway... until next time, take care.

This, to our dorky souls, was really funny. And don't get excited, I am not about to write how this was how we got to the hospital to have Ingrid, because she is still comfortably floating around in my womb. But if I had to go to the hospital, what better way to get there than in the Jambulance?

Quick, call the Party Medics! What really cracked us up (and it doesn't take much these days) was that this was parked in the emergency space outside the building (we won't mention the building's name, it brings us shame to admit where we were on a Friday night without Sebastian).

So, yeah, no Ingrid. My midwife is stumped, she had guessed that Ingrid would have arrived by now but so did everyone else. We went and checked out what was going on inside to make sure she is still healthy and thriving. She is. Plenty of fluid to swim around in. Ten fingers and toes. And huge lips. I know these pictures are a bit blurry and in general looking at ultrasound pictures is like looking at that is it an old woman or a young woman drawing, but I will try to explain. In the top photo she is looking towards us. You can see the top of her head on the right then follow it along the forehead to the cheek to the chin. So once you have that figured out you can identify eyes, nose, and mouth (all in their proper places). The bottom image is a profile and you can see her long nose and again her juicy lips. You know who I think she is going to look like?

This guy.

Enorme:
1. The largest drink size at Tully's Coffee
2. What a short woman looks like at 41 weeks pregnant

Last night, around 1 o'clock a fantastic storm blew in. The wind was awe-inspiring. Our windows were open and the curtains danced like ghosts. Eventually Jason got up and shut the windows and soon after the wind gave way to rain. Change is in the air (but still no Ingrid).

Today:
Feed ducks
Eat bagels
Take photographs
Walk
Drink Raspberry leaf tea
Enjoy the sunshine
Relax
Avoid feeling frustrated over still being pregnant

Preparing for her birthday party though the date is still tenative.

Okay, after much deliberation, I think, I am almost positively sure, 99% certain that Ingrid's middle name will be 安紀 (Aki). We wanted certain things for her middle name and I think this covers it. Broken down: 安 (a) means peaceful, calm, gentle; 紀 (ki) means era. So essentially the name means a peaceful era as well as aki meaning autumn. Sebastian's name (Sebastian Olivier) means venerable peace and we wanted to connect that same idea with Ingrid. So, now that we have that settled, Ingrid, how about making your appearance? I am going to pack my birth center bag now then straighten up the house some then I think we will be completely set. Come on, Ingrid Aki. We are ready for you.

Still no Ingrid.... Just drinking lots of raspberry leaf tea, walking, and trying to relax and take it day by day. My due date in Japan was the 14th (based on an ultrasound) so technically I am not overdue. Yet. But I am becoming impatient. I really want to meet this girl. Hope all is well with everyone. Take care.

Still pregnant and no signs of change. But of course, the day has just begun. Another stunning Florida day (I am half serious and half sardonic) with the high predicted at 82 degrees. Nothing but blue skies.... Sebastian is spending another night with his grandparents and I have the day to myself. Oh what to do, what to do? Take care.

Today is my due date. Sebastian is gone for two whole nights (which is nice but I am a little lost without him) so I can concentrate on Ingrid's arrival. I think I might have stumbled upon a middle name 青紀 (Aoki) which I believe means "green (in the Japanese sense of the color) tree". I am mainly interested in the second kanji as this is part of the kanji that is on my hanko 紀伊 (Kii). Since 紀伊 was used to phonetically connect my last name to a Japanese name (and thus circumvent having a lame regular gaijin hanko using katakana, 堀内 先生 ありがとうございました!) it would be really nice to incorporate it into my daughter's name. We are planning on doing something similiar for Sebastian but that will come at a much later date. Anyway, I am really excited and will run it by some people before I decide but maybe Ingrid Aoki?...

In other news, a big congratulations to George and Yana on the birth of their daughter with the amazingly long name. Welcome to the world Beatrice! And Alice, if I didn't have so many slutty students who shared your middle name it would have been in the running for Ingrid as well.

I had a really nice chat with my midwife today. She asked me about my true calling. I will be thinking about this while I have some quiet time around the house. She suggested that we move to Atlanta. Hmm, one of those cities like D.C. or Detroit that have never really been on my list. Athens though... It would be nice to be near the mountains and have a reason for scarves and hats and hot cocoa. And of course, it would be especially nice if there was a perfect job waiting for me there. Anyway, I will do my best to update this on a daily basis until I actually go into labor since I know a few of you faithful are checking regularly to see what the haps be. So if you notice a bit of a gap then you should assume the best. Hope everyone is doing well. Take care.

I've been continuing the documentation of my final days of pregnancy....
I am still pregnant so I guess I will have to ditch Tsukiko from the list. Other possibilities: 愛純 (Azu), 椛蒔 (Momiji), 千絵 (Chie), 稚秋 (Chiaki), 楓花 (Kaede).





And yes, we voted. Unfortunately, we still have a republican governor but at least Jeb wasn't able to serve a third term and the people of Florida had enough sense not to elect Katherine Harris as our senator.

A few images from this week:
Halloween and Pregnancy Day by Day

I didn't plan on Sebastian participating in Halloween this year. It is our first year (essentially) to witness an American Halloween and frankly we aren't too keen on the holiday. Yet my brother-in-law's girlfriend invited Sebastian to go with her two girls to a church that was hosting some activities so I thought I shouldn't deny him the opportunity. I mentioned that he didn't have a costume, she said that she had some masks. Masks, huh? I knew Sebastian wouldn't go for that. Ten minutes before she arrived I remembered Sebastian's jimbei that my students had given him. Yes, it is not a costume but most people in our neighborhood don't know that.


Pregnancy Day by Day

Day 2
Spending the last few weeks with Sebastian as the Sun of our galaxy.


Day 3
It is true, I am nesting.


Day 4
Pregnancy is so primal. Here I am like a bear creating my stores of energy for the upcoming labor. The full moon is this Sunday. If Ingrid arrives by then, I will give her the middle name 月子 Tsukiko (Moon Child).


Hope all is well with everyone. Take care.

Poetry Thursday

I first read Ginsberg's America during the summer that divided middle school from high school. Over the years I have come to understand and relate to some lines more than others. When I returned from Japan, this poem resonated with accuracy. I have intermingled some of the more poignant lines with excerpts from my journal that I wrote on the day I returned to the States.

(America I've given you all and now I'm nothing.)
I was bumped to business class where they keep Swiss chocolates ready
Everyone else was comfortable and reclined
(I can't stand my own mind)
Beneath me mountains fell into the sea
(America when will we end the human war?
Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb.
I don't feel good don't bother me.
I won't write my poem till I'm in my right mind.)
When we reached Detroit, Japan was nowhere to be seen
It had been replaced by flat squares devoid of life
This was America'’s heartland; I had no trouble getting back in
(America when will you be angelic?
When will you take off your clothes?
When will you look at yourself through the grave?)
I was surprised to find myself holding an American passport
I didn'’t have to be fingerprinted or yelled at
I wasn'’t a foreigner anymore
(America why are your libraries full of tears?
America when will you send your eggs to India?
I'm sick of your insane demands.
When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I
need with my good looks?
America after all it is you and I who are perfect not
the next world.)
There were so many blond people but even more people were obscenely large
with calves that covered their ankles and shorts that revealed everything
I didn'’t want to see
They didn'’t seem to mind
(Your machinery is too much for me.
You made me want to be a saint.)
The day that I came back Korea tested another missile so of course
Bush had something to say
He always has nothing to say
It made me think of a line from Homer Simpson
"“You take a lot of time to say nothing"
I laughed out loud and everyone looked at me
There is nothing funny about the news
(It's always telling me about responsibility. Business-
men are serious. Movie producers are serious.
Everybody's serious but me. )
No one looks at me, I am just like them now
(America the plum blossoms are falling.)
Everyone is blond and is headed to Disney World
(It occurs to me that I am America.
I am talking to myself again.)